Bodhran Jokes

To avoid living out these jokes,
please read about Session Etiquette

Fellow walks into a pub in Belfast with a plastic bag under his arms.
The bartender asks "What's that?"
"Six pounds of semtex", he answers.
"Thanks be to Jaysus; I thought it was a bodhran!"
There was the bodhran player who remembered that he had left his bodhran in his unlocked car. Rushing back, he opened his car door to find two more bodhrans in the back seat.
A bodhran player was sick of the band abusing him, and decided to start his own. He walked into a music shop, planning to buy the first instruments he saw.
"Give me the red saxophone and that accordion!", he said.
The assistant said, "You play the bodhran, don't you?"
"That's right. Why?"
"Well, the fire exinguisher I can sell you - but the radiator stays.
What's the only proper way to play a bodhran?
With an open penknife.
What do you call a groupie who hangs around annoying session musicians?
A bodhran player.
What is the difference between a bodhran player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathisers.
What do bodhran players use for birth control?
Their personalities.
How do you know when there is a bodhran player at your front door?
The knocking gets faster and faster and faster...
Why do bodhran players find it difficult to enter a room?
They never know when to come in.
What's the difference between a bodhran and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Bodhran care is simple... Rub gently with lighter fluid and ignite.
There was a fiddle player who, while visiting the local pub, was asked for a dollar to help pay for the funeral of a local bodhran player.
"Here's two dollars," he says. "Bury another."
What is the difference between a dead bodhran player lying in the road and and a dead rabbit lying in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the rabbit.
Is a bodhran-player a musician?
Is a barnacle a ship?
What do you call a bodhran player with a broken wrist?
A huge improvement.
How can you tell the stage is level at an Irish Music Festival?
The bodhran player is drooling from both sides of his mouth.
What do you call 50 bodhrans in a land fill?
A good start.
What's the difference between a bodhran player and a drum machine?
You only have to punch the rhythm into the drum machine once.
What's the difference between a bodhran and an onion?
Most people cry when they cut up an onion.
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